So you’ve been dating your girlfriend for a while, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to take things to the next level and ask her to marry you. But are you sure this is the right time? Are you sure if she’s the right one? Popping the question is never easy, even for a guy who is sure he wants to spend the rest of his life with the special lady in his life.
If you are even a little bit unsure about whether or not you want your girlfriend to be your wife, you need to ask yourself some basic questions about if you are ready to go from boyfriend to husband:
Can you imagine your future together?
Here’s a little thought experiment to do. Where are you and your girlfriend a year from now? How about in five years? Can you imagine yourself with her a decade from now? Of course there’s no way to tell what is going to happen in the future, but the fact that you can envision years down the line with this person means that she is the kind of person you can spend that much time with.
Can you live with what you don’t like about her?
Look, let’s be realistic: no matter who you decide to marry, there are things that she is going to do that are going to bother you. They may make you crazy now, but you may someday learn to ignore them, forget about them, or even learn to enjoy them. But if there is something she does that you can’t stand, that you have no wish to ever be a part of, this may be a sign that the two of you shouldn’t make a lifelong commitment to each other. On some level, you need to know what your own tolerance level is like.
Are you ready to settle down?
If you have been with your girlfriend for any significant amount of time you should be able to tell if you are ready to settle down or not. Do you still have the urge to sleep with other people or run off to party with your boys whenever they call you up in the middle of the night to go hang out? If you want to be with other people more than with your potential wife you probably aren’t ready to make a big life change yet.
If distractions like other women and partying don’t seem better than being with your girlfriend, you are probably ready to settle down with her.
Do you already think of each other as a family?
Becoming husband and wife means that the two of you are going to be part of each others families, but it also means that the two of you are also going to become a family of your own. Whether you’ll have the stereotypical bad relationship with your in-laws or if you all get along great, these relationships are going to change your life. A family is created by sharing. If you know that your home is her home and her home is yours, you are already part of the same family.