Being successful on Tinder, or perhaps any dating app, or perhaps all of dating itself, is a game of self-promotion. What you might not realize is that instead of just being a mindless time-wasting diversion or source for dirty anonymous sex, Tinder can be a mechanism for meeting quality women/men that you might never have approached in real life. There are, undoubtedly, some great people on there.
Here are 10 rules for mastering the art of Tinder:
1. It’s not just sex anymore
Tinder has gained a reputation for a place where you find hookups, casual sex and one-night-stands. However, that’s just not the case. It might seems like you are having more of whatever it is you’re looking for on Tinder, but that can be attributed to the simply HUGE number of users.
It might even be more difficult to arrange a hookup through Tinder, with all parties involved lacking the experience of meeting and seeing each other in person – but the law of large numbers will make up for that as well.
That said, Tinder is a place where you can find “normal” people interested in relationships as well. If your goal is something lasting beyond one night, you should change the way you interact on Tinder. Read on.
2. Kill ’em with kindness
One of the best tactics on Tinder is to simply be the sweetest, nicest guy anyone has ever virtually encountered. Act as if you are an old-school southern gentleman; you will do anything for a lady. You would never be so crass as to hit on an innocent girl in a bar! This guy is the one women still dream about but wouldn’t take seriously in person. On Tinder, however, you will be refreshing and novel. Now is your chance…
In order to increase your likelihood of success, widen your range in terms of subjects. Start small, and increase if you do not feel you’re getting enough response. Tinder, or any virtual space, is the place where you need not be picky up front. You can always change your mind with minimal embarrassment. And, you never know, you might just be surprised by someone you didn’t expect.
4. Worth 1,000 words
Let’s be honest, Tinder is really all about your appearance. The photo you display will prompt instinctive reactions. So, you’d better up your selfie game. Here are some tips:
-with bad resolution
-with your face alone
-in which you are too far away
-where your face is not visible
-where you are hidden by sunglasses
-where you are too serious looking
-where you are posing with someone else
Go for photos:
-where you appear alone
-where face and body are visible
-where you are looking toward the camera
-with a natural smile
-where you have used delicate editing to optimize, but not too much
-where you are engaging in a fun activity
Definitely do not allow your photos to portray you as conceited, spoiled, obnoxiously affluent or anything else that could be a turn-off. If indeed you are the world’s most amazing man – let them discover that on a date and not decipher it from the first photo they see. Modesty is key.
5. Swipe right
First of all, be sure to swipe instead of pressing the heart or X buttons – it’s faster and more fun. Some people advocate the “swipe everyone right” method, thus securing the most possible matches. We, however, believe in at least a modest amount of filtering. If you swipe everyone right, you will end up wasting a lot of your own and others’ time when people you’re not actually interested are writing to you.
6. Give it time
Be patient. Tinder is not a race with time. Depending on where you live, there is an almost endless stream of people to be exhausted. So, go slow. Do not let the game interfere with your life. Additionally, give other people the time to match you first. It is always the more “cool” way for the connection to happen. However, be sure to swipe at least a few people every day – more active users get better exposure on the app.
7. Realism, not surrealism
Swiping only models will not get you too far, unless you’re one too. For life in general, it might be a good idea to try and objectively think what your dating profile looks like on paper and, of course, on an app like Tinder. Swipe all the people who interest you, for whatever reason.
8. Prime time
There are certain time slots which are prime scoping hours for Tinder users. They basically look like television prime time hours, for example 19:00-23:00, Monday-Thursday. At these times, most people are relaxing and ready for a conversation. Also, there are particular “late-night” hours which are most lucrative for all sorts of naughty nighttime pursuits.
9. Cross reference
Try and find the person you are chatting with on Facebook. It’s always nice to verify, as much as possible, that the person really exists and isn’t a closet neo-Nazi. If somebody is too vague or opaque on Tinder, it’s not a great sign.
10. Slow it down
If you are interested in more than a simple sexual interaction, slow down your game. Building up tension and expectation is part of flirting and creating desire. The less available you are, the more someone will want you. Do not lay all your cards out on the table too fast; save the dirty talk and nude photos for later – if at all.