Gentility is neither in birth, wealth, or fashion, but in the mind. A high sense of honor, a determination never to take a mean advantage of another, adherence to truth, delicacy and politeness…are the essential characteristics of a gentleman. –Cecil B. Hartley
No man is born a gentleman, so how can he remember gentlemanly tips on a date? Politeness, manners, chivalry, respect and honor are taught. You can learn these principles through your family, experience, or you can read about them.
Have an upcoming date? Here are some tips to keep in mind. Been dating awhile? It’s never too late to start.
50 Gentlemanly Tips To Remember On A Date
- Make plans with her a few days in advance
- Get reservations or tickets beforehand
- Be punctual
- If meeting her at the venue, get up and greet her
- If picking her up, open the door for her
- Offer to carry her bags
- It’s ok to kiss her on the cheek when greeting her
- Help her take her jacket off
- Give her the best seat
- Pull out her chair
- Turn off your cell phone
- Maintain good (not creepy) eye contact
- Escort her when walking
- Offer your jacket if it’s cold
- Walk beside her closest to the street
- Be a good listener
- Don’t interrupt
- Be humble
- Don’t gossip
- She doesn’t need your advice unless she asks for it
- Wait to sit until she’s seated
- Inside, escort her on your left arm
- When leaving a room, walk through the door first
- Don’t overdrink
- Use that napkin. Put it in your lap
- Don’t talk with food in your mouth
- If it’s raining, offer her your umbrella
- Pay for dinner
- Don’t make her wait. Call her first
- Prioritize returning her calls or texts
- Get her home at a decent time
- Don’t overstay your welcome
- Be polite to the waiter/waitress
- Compliment her
- Offer your hand when she exits the car
- Dress appropriate to the date
- Take a shower fellow hipster (shampoo too)
- Take off your hat indoors
- If she drops something, be the first to pick it up
- Exhibit self-control
- Don’t cuss
- Apologize if it’s your fault
- Never leave her alone outside
- Don’t smoke unless she does too
- Bring flowers, not carnations
- Be genuine
- Don’t walk too fast if she’s in heels
- Don’t be sexist
- Don’t cut in line
- Don’t stare at other women
Coming from Missouri, I was raised with Midwestern values, but it wasn’t until I began dating a Southern girl that I discovered more specific ettiquette (mostly from her mom). Curious, I read Cecil B. Hartley’s book, The Gentleman’s Book of Etiquette.
You might not be dating a Southern girl, so gauge what your girl values.
And don’t be too legalistic about fulfilling every one. As Cecil also wrote, “To make your politeness part of yourself, inseparable from every action, is the height of gentlemanly elegance and finish of manner.”
This article was originally published in Good Guy Swag.
