For better or worse, sex isn’t an exact science. Nor is it what Hollywood sometimes makes us believe: a smooth, problem-free, passionate, elegant, dance that leaves everyone gorgeously sweaty, fulfilled and refreshed.
In real life, sex can be complicated and fraught with trouble. Life often gets in the way. The libidos of two people are rarely 100% in sync, and there are lots of little problems that can creep into the bedroom. Rest assured that’s it’s normal to experience some bumps in the sexual road, whether you’re single or in a relationship. View them as challenges to be overcome.
Here are a few of the most common “libidillemas” and how to solve them:
1. Stress
Problem: Stress can often kill a person’s desire for sexual activity.
Solution: Talk to your partner and agree to hash out stressful subjects when necessary – but only at certain times of the day and outside of the bedroom. This will keep the bedroom and your sex life separate and not dependent on stress and its byproducts. Sex can even be an excellent way to relieve the symptoms of stress.
2. Pain
Problem: Women can sometimes experience pain during sex. This could be caused by a variety of things as benign as vaginal dryness or a small infection, or it could be a sign of more serious issues.
Solution: At first, if dryness seems to be the issue try using some lubrication, available in pharmacies. You can make the application of the lube part of your sexy foreplay, using excited fingers to delicately and lustfully smooth it in and around a lady’s patient vagina. A woman should see her doctor and have her pain diagnosed if it continues.
3. Pregnancy
Problem: Pregnancy basically screws with a woman’s entire body and chemical makeup. In many cases, pregnancy will entirely eliminate a woman’s desire for sex.
Solution: Ask your partner if she is okay with exploring some more comfortable position or sexual practices. Often, pregnant women are more comfortable doing it doggy-style. If sex is a complete NO-GO, perhaps you could learn to be satisfied with some nice oral or manual action. The good news is that pregnancy causes breasts to get bigger, if that’s your thing.
4. Kids
Problem: Kids can be a buzz-kill. When they’re barging into your bedroom or simply crying, screaming, or acting out all day or evening long, a mother or father who is the primary caregiver can be left bereft of any sex-drive.
Solution: Make your bedroom off-limits for the kids – turning it into a safe, holy space dedicated to sexual abandon and experimentation. Additionally, give you and your partner an occasional night off by sending the kids to grandma’s house or renting a hotel room and hiring a babysitter.
5. Alcohol
Problem: Alcohol, which depresses the nervous system, is known to impair erections, making it harder to get and sustain one. It can also make it much harder to reach orgasm.
Solution: There are a few things you could try. You can wait a while, drinking water and engaging in extended foreplay – giving your drunkenness time to wear off. Alternatively, you could try some new, more effective sexual position, or simply pop an ED pill like Viagra.
6. Passion
Problem: You or your partner are getting bored of the same-old, repetitive sexual routine you’ve developed.
Solution: Explore new sexual frontiers. The options are endless: watch pornography together, bring a video camera into the bedroom, try role-playing, or any number of new, exciting situations or bodily orifices.
